Another Day

I went to the bar to see the cute boy after my last post. We won't work out, it's just not meant to be. He is a regular pot smoker and I am against drugs of any kind. Also, shortly thereafter he met a good friend of mine and fell for her. Nevermind that she is married with two kids. She is hoping to get a divorce soon but it's no where in the near future as they haven't even started that process yet.

Then there is the boy who I have been "seeing" for almost a year now. THings are going no where and I often wonder if I would even want them to if it was an option. He has this ability to be a complete ass and I don't want someone like that. So why do we keep seeing each other? I suppose we are just both lonely and need someone to hang out with from time to time.

I just wish I knew where this life was taking me. I constantly feel like I am just letting it lead me someplace I don't really want to go because it's familiar and comfortable. I keep telling myself someday....someday. Well, that someday might never be here. I am 32 years old and need to remember that my someday needs to be now.

Today has been a good day but now that it's dark outside and I don't want to sit and work all night...I am lonely. Just wishing I had someone to cuddle up to and watch a movie. Maybe someday....