Stupid day of birth

Two days before my birthday and I don't want it to come. I hate birthdays because they just mean I am getting one year older and still am not a wife or mom. Thirty two years old and still failing at life. :(

“There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just mean you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.”
— Laurell K. Hamilton

Mr Printer Dude

I met this guy about six months ago or more. We hit it off and have had some wonderful dates. Then he turned on me and was just kind of a jerk. I ignored him for a while, we started talking again, then we argued, started talking again and the pattern continues. There is something about him though. Something different and special, I think. The thing is, we still have not kissed. Not even a peck. Not even once. There are times when I feel like I have to beg to see him and more often than not he decides he doesn't want to see me. Not because he is busy or has something else going on but because he just doesn't feel like it. If he doesn't feel like it now....how is life going to be after 5 years with him? I want someone who can't wait to be able to see me and jumps at each opportunity to spend time with me. This guy doesn't do that. At all.

So really, what am I doing?