an imperfect life

The past has gotten ahold of me today and it won't let me go.
We all at some point in our lives fall in love. We fall hard and foolishly and don't really think about it ever failing us. We fall in love several times and at several different levels. The first time I fell in love it was impossible for me to see until years later that it wasn't really love at all but rather it was my first taste of lust and pure adrenaline rushing through me from being lusted after. It seems like forever ago now but even so i can think back on it and still somewhat feel the intense emotions I went through then. Passion. Lust. Joy. Heartbreak. Depression. Hurt. Anger. It took almost 5 years to get over that one. Five messed up, roller coaster of a ride years.

There were several other men that made a brief appearance after that and never really left any sort of mark. 

Until JMB. I remember falling for him before I even met him. He had this way with words and writing that had me floating on air. When we finally met he wasn't at all what I was expecting. I expected some neatly trimmed, farmboy type I guess. Instead I meet someone with black hair, a big chain hanging from his back pocket, a crooked tooth and black leather boots. I was surprised but intrigued. He was tough looking but the gentlest man I had have ever met. I experienced a whole different world with him...poetry, theater, karaoke, audio books.....love. Yep, the real kind. Things happened and we didn't stay together but we remain friends to this day. I can't say it's always easy but I can say that I don't know what I would do without him in my life at all.